Feels Like Running Away but to Where?

I can´t do this anymore...

I don´t know how live with someone who don´t appreciate me, who put the blame on me for everything is not right in his life and our lives, who is being sarcastic to me most of the time.

I cry a lot these days. I wish I am more calmer, I wish I am more patient with this situation. There´s no point to be emotional. I´m on losing side. I can´t do anything. I feel like running away, but I´m not capable. I don´t have any money, and we live in a foreign country. And I have 2 kids and I´m pregnant!

Yes, that is right! I am PREGNANT.

It´s not in our plan. In fact he was not happy about it, saying that I was not being careful. Because I told him it was ok to go unprotected as I was no longer in the fertility period, based on calculation. But thing happens when it happens. So nothing much I can say about it. And I accept it.

It´s just that I´m not feeling secure about this marriage anymore. He keeps being sarcastic. He´s not concern of my well being. And being pregnant will make me being more emotional than usual and I don´t want to feel sad all the time. It´s not good for the baby. Although I know , I have to physically and mentally ready to face his sour attitudes, I can´t help it.

I am a Moslem. And being a Moslem married lady, I am supposed to love my husband with my full heart. But how do I do this when I know that I´m not loved? How do I just ignore his attitudes and keep loving him the way a husband should be loved?

I guess I still love him, otherwise I would not be crying thinking about this all the time. But I have this feeling to live a separate life from him, i.e. DIVORCE. I don´t know whether divorce is the answer, the full stop to my agony but I´ve been thinking why would we stay together if he´s not happy and I´m not happy?

I want to get help. I wish I can tell somebody of this. But I don´t know to whom shall I talk to. I can´t talk to my parents, or my siblings for I´m afraid they would be worry too much.I can´t talk to my friends. Most of them seem to have good loving husbands. I wonder whether they would understand. And I try very hard not to tell our marital problems to other people.

Tell me what to do.......